The Lost Jedi: The Night Mark Hamill Couldn’t Find His Car

With May the Fourth upon us in only two days I felt it was only appropriate to share with you about the night I met the man who played one of my childhood heroes, Mark Hamill. That’s right younglings I got to spend time in the presence of the Jedi Master himself, Luke Skywalker.

A long time ago (the early 2000s) at a college campus not that far away (UCLA to be precise) Mark Hamill was an unannounced guest speaker at one of the UCLA Extension writing classes I was taking.

The class was on half-hour television comedy writing and taught by Phil Kellard. Phil’s career includes credits include plenty of show you’ve probably watched like Doogie Howser, M.D, Martin, and The Wayans Brothers. He’s one of the best instructors at in UCLA Extension’s Writers Program.

Phil is also a good friend of Mark Hamill’s going back to the days before the world would know Mark as Luke Skywalker. But more importantly Phil is also the uncle of a friend of mine from high school, Brad Blose.

Brad and I were sitting in Mr. McCollum’s Algebra 2 class at Norco High discussing what we wanted to do with our lives after graduation. I told him I was going to be a writer and make movies. He told me his Uncle Phil was a writer and currently working on the show Hooperman with John Ritter.

Needless to say I was impressed and asked for an introduction.  That occurred a year later on the 20th Century Fox studio lot. Brad and I, accompanied by two other friends, Tito and Frank, were invited to meet Phil who was then working on the first season of Doogie Howser, M.D.

It was a very cool experience. I finally got to meet Phil. He took us on a tour of the Doogie sets. Unfortunately they weren’t filming that week so we didn’t get to meet any of the cast nor watch any shooting. I did get to go home with four Doogie scripts to read and study. I still have them.

For the next few years I’d send scripts I’d written to Phil. He’d get back to me with notes and encouraged my continued writing. After college however I chose a path that led me into politics. But I missed writing, so in 2005 I started taking courses at the UCLA Extension.

One Saturday there was a Writer’s Faire at UCLA for students to come and meet the instructors and hear about the classes they’d be teaching in the Fall Quarter. One of those instructors was Phil Kellard whom I’d lost touch with over the years.

I saw Phil on the quad and approached.

“I bet you don’t remember me,” I said.

“Of course I do,” he told me. I was elated. “You worked on the Wayans Brothers.”

“Not exactly,” I said then recounted to him how I’d met him through his nephew Brad.

Once reminded he seemed a bit blown away then we started laughing and catching up on where life had taken us over the intervening years.

I wound up taking Phil’s class that fall and the subsequent classes he taught in the winter and spring quarters. It was a great experience where I met some terrific writers and really learned a lot about comedy writing and story pacing.

It was in the winter course that Phil brought his friend Mark Hamill to class as part of a panel of guest speakers.

There was a hush, an awed silence in the room as Mark entered. He sat before the class and talked about breaking into the entertainment business and what he was doing now. No one had a clue that there would be more Star Wars movies and that he’d portray Luke once again.

This was meant to be a Q&A session, but no one was asking questions. This was highly unusual as the students in the class were typically outspoken.

My buddy Dan leaned over to me and said, “Ask him a question.”

“Why don’t you ask him a question?” I responded.

“I can’t. I’m too nervous.”

“Dude, you’re around celebrities all the time.”

“I know,” Dan said, “But it’s Luke Skywalker.”

Timidly I raised my hand and said, “Umm Mark…” It felt odd calling him by his first name rather than Mr. Hamill or Master Luke. But still I continued.

“I read once that after Star Wars you were getting typecast and given some bad scripts.  How did that affect your career?”

I failed to mention that I’d read that in Starlog magazine when I was a kid following news about him and the Star Wars saga. I also failed to remember what he said in response to my question as I was absolutely giddy to be talking face to face with Mark Hamill.

Yes I was a bit star struck. But being that I’d dressed up as Luke Skywalker for Halloween in both the 1st and 3rd Grades I think I can be forgiven.

The panel lasted at least two hours and the class wrapped up at 10pm. As Mark headed for the door he passed behind me.

I turned to him and said, “You know I really enjoyed your work as Cocknocker in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

His expression told me I’d surprised him. He’d obviously thought I was going to mention Star Wars.

“That was a lot of fun,” Mark said. “I was in Kevin’s movie and he was in mine?”

“Really?” I said. I didn’t know what the other movie was he had mentioned. “What’s it called?”

Comic Book: The Movie,” he said.  “You need to watch it.”

I told him I would, but to be honest I still haven’t seen it. I thanked him for coming to our class that night and thought that would be the last I’d see of him.

Wrong.

There was a group of us walking to Parking Lot 3 as usual. But this time Mark Hamill was with us. He’d parked there too. We became his de facto entourage for a few minutes.

My friend Jason asked him if he’d do the voice of the Joker. Mark obliged. He then told us about the audition for the first role he’d received on a soap opera.

We reached Lot 3 and I bid everyone farewell.

Mark said to me as I headed to the parking lot’s stair well, “Write a movie and make sure there’s a part in it for me.”

I thought about a script that might work for Mark. Robert Slawsby had written a big budget R-rated comedy called Bachelor Party Planners. We’d included a role for William Shatner to play himself after hours at a Star Trek Convention.

Could we change it to Mark Hamill at a Star Wars Convention? Absolutely.

Regardless it was the perfect way to end the evening as I’d probably never see Mark Hamill in person again.

Nope. Wrong.

As I stepped out of the stairwell into Parking Lot 3 here came Mark Hamill walking down the entrance/exit ramp of Lot 3. We walked down the row of cars and Mark told me, “You never know where an idea for a script is going to come from.”

He reminisced about a movie theater in L.A. that that no longer exists. He asked if I’d ever been there. I told him I hadn’t.

“They would show movies all night,” he said.  “And it had this huge parking structure.  A friend and I took our dates and went to the movies one night. When we got out we couldn’t find our car. We spent hours looking for it. The girls started crying. It was dawn by the time we found the car.”

“Then one night I was watching Seinfeld,” he said, “You know the one where they can’t find their car?”

“Yeah. It’s a great episode,” I said.

“That was our story. And it just shows that you never know where an idea for a script is going to come from.”

After he said this, it dawned on me that Mark might not know where his car was at that moment.

“Umm, do you know where you’re parked?” I asked.

“Yeah, I parked in Lot 3.”

“Well there are two Lot 3’s.  Lot 3 North and Lot 3 South.”

“Which one are we in?” he asked.

I looked up and from the split in the cement above I could tell that we were literally standing on the dividing line of the parking structure.

“I’m in North and you’re in South.”

Mark looked up the ramp to his right and said to me, “I’m pretty sure it’s up here.”

“Do you need me to help you find your car?” I asked him, but he was already heading up the ramp.

“No, I’m good. Just remember: write a movie and make sure there’s a part in it for me.”

With that he turned his back and marched on up the ramp of Lot 3 South. I again figured that would be the last time I’d see Mark Hamill in person.

You guessed it. Wrong.

I got to my car and headed out. As I approached the ramp I’d last seen Mark ascending, I noticed him walking back down in search of his car.

I thought of stopping and again asking if he needed help finding his ride, but decided against it. I pressed the gas and drove on.

I looked out the driver’s side window of my Civic as I passed Mark Hamill for the truly final time that night and said to myself, “There’s one Jedi Master the Force is not with.”

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Now if perchance you’re reading this Mark, I want to tell you three things:

1) I still appreciate you coming to Phil’s class that night.

2) I’m grateful you gave me this story to tell.

3) I have a really good script and yes there’s a part in it for you.

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